John Kerry (born December 11, 1943) is a man who was tortured by his fellow mates because he believed in peace not war. He recieved the Purple Heart because he acted valiantly in what could have been a worse scuttle should Carrey had broken down into barbarism. He is NOT related to actor Jim Carrey. He looks like he's ready tired of childish idiots who don't have a clue what he's been through.

was thought that because he didn't kill something he was worthless

Early life Edit

Carrey went to Vietnam and basically didnt even do anything. After a series of unfortunate events he got involved in a swift boat incident that technically was considered combat. He got an award but really he was scared the whole time so they awarded him only a bandaid to cover up like a bruise. All mighty soldiers laughed at how the little girl needed a bandaid or else he would wet himself. Afterwards he stood alongside Jane Fonda and denounced the troops once again proving his cowardice. As a liberal Carrey was probably a gay man who enjoyed having fun with dick and Jane Fonda the slut was therefore his idol.

Politics Edit

Carrey didnt know what to do after Vietnam but he knew he had to play off his strengths which is being a liar. Liars will always have a home in Congress so thats where he went, and he soon became the most liberal senator in Congress by following the example of Ted Kennedy, who was the most liberal senator in Congress and was his fellow representative from Massachusetts. He was a true leftwing moonbat man. For every issue he was always the most liberal which is why he got that rating in 2004 (Its not like they would say it if it wasnt true.) (I mean some ivory tower elitist said that he was actually the 24th most liberal Senator [1] but that cant be the real number. 23 senators more liberal then Carrey, yeah right.) He soon became a powerful democrat and was able to win the nomination for the election in 2004 against the majestic George W. Bush. He nominated John Edwards as his VP and the two were widely known as Dumb and Dumber. Carrey, intimidated by having to face a true man, showed his cowardice once again by attacking Bush on the War even though he doesnt really know anything about war. He lost badly because people found out how he swiftboated the troops and also his wife is some French bitch who is rich from ketchup. Once again I must remind you that his purple heart is a bandaid because I have a class. Carrey is just a true coward and you can tell hes scared of other politicians. If he was in the jungles of Vietnam with Independent Jesse Ventura he wouldve run from him just like in Predator. If it bleeds we can kill it but Carrey doesnt bleed because of his bandaid. He would still run though because hes too scared to face Ventura.


Like all libs Carrey is pro-choice which makes him pro-murder, as anyone knows who has ever read Horton Hears a Who. A persons a person no matter how small and that includes if they arent a person. Hes a typical yes man for the Unions and that includes supporting civil unions. Carrey spoke in Bali supporting the myth of Climate change which doesnt even make sense. Like lets say that there actually really is a lot of sunshine melting stuff at spots, what are we supposed to do to help the climate turn all sunshine off the spot? Less mindful people like dems may think thats a solution but smart Independents know that you cant just turn the sun off, its NOT a light switch. Just because we can put a man on the moon doesnt mean we can control the sun. Carrey wants us to "go green" and use renewable energy but as for me myself I renew only my objection that he can be allowed to flip flop after refusing to sign the Kyoto protocol. Quit flip flopping. Although Carrey is against the war like all libs he is FOR the War on Christmas and wants to make us all sing Happy Holidays instead of Christmas carols. This makes him literally the grinch who stole Christmas.

Personal Life Edit

He is married to Teresa Heinz who is the heiress to the Heinz ketchup company. She does NOT wear a bra. Carrey walked into a bar and the bartender asked why the long face. Much like his runningmate John Edwards he probably has affairs and Im sure he was involved in a pornographic video where the cable guy came over to fix the cable. You can guess where it goes from here.



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