Lawyers are people who practice law. Practice does NOT make perfect because these guys are the scum of the earth. They have no heart and no brain, make a real mess out of everything, and worst of all they think they know more about the law then FOX News personalities. "What do you call 10000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean." "A good start." is a joke I came up with independently. Lawyers were invented by John Grisham.
To become a lawyer first you need to go to law school and earn youre GED in law. Your first year you take classes such as Torts, Contracts, Declaration of Independents Law, Criminal Law, Civil Procedure, and Property (if anyone comes on my property there a dead man). In your second and third years you take classes like Criminal Procedure, Family Law, Corporations and Evidence. All three years you take adderall. You then graduate and are broke, realizing only when it was too late that it will take the rest of your life to pay off those loans. Oops!
After law schoolEdit
To get licensed you first take the MPRE, which tells you about all the ethical rules youre going to violate once you become a lawyer. Then you take the bar exam. If you dont pass dont worry, you can appeal and then still not pass. When you do pass you try to get a job as an associate at a firm, where you chase ambulances and file nusiance lawsuits while also being soft on crime and getting criminals released BACK OUT ON THE STREET. Lawyers also enjoy keeping murderers alive by continually filing appeals even though its time to kill them. Eventually if you screw over enough people you can make partner, or maybe get elected as a democrat. Some lawyers later became activist judges and are elected to the judges chambers, where they attempt to legistate from the bench rather then following the tried and true laws of the Old Testament.
List of famous lawyers Edit
Barack Obama - a "lawyer" who actually was just a community organizer and needs to be disbarred for ordering mustard and not wearing a flag lapel. I can brief you on some of the other violations hes had as well: ipod, arugala, teleprompter, healthcare. A true tryant. Johnny Cochran - played the race card to get such clients as OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson off. Made it so that the last juror in the OJ case felt pressured to vote yes by packing the runaway jury with Black people, yet if I tried to have an all White jury Id be considered a racist and accused of abusing voir dire? Double standards. OJ later wrote a confession called "If I did it" but couldnt be prosecuted because of double jeopardy.
John Edwards - who by Glenn Beck's estimates spent $2 million on a haircut while having sex with John Kerry in his wife's hospital bed as she died from count cancer. Was known for the milking of torts he ingaged in at his personal injury firm where he pretended getting your intestines sucked out was a case of res ipsa loquitor when really the little girl assumed the risk and is guilty of bicurious liability. He and his brethren deliver a summons to every corporation they come across, which is why we need tort reform.
Perry Mason - If your a big fan of Perry Mason then youll get a real kick out of the Netflix instant watch thrillers section.