Mermans (also known as Mormans, Mermen, crackers, or Jenova's Witnesses) are aquatic sea monsters from the Great Salt Lake in Utah. They are known for there beauty and wetness, which is the essence of beauty. They are NOT gay they are *coughs* MEN! They believe that Jesus was AMERICAN which he was [citation NOT needed], that Indians are Jews and that blacks are Satan. They are not to be confused with mermaids. Notable Mermen include Glenn Beck, Derek Zoolander, and failed 2012 (good movie) Republican Primary candidate Mitt Romney.