Xena's Paradox's are noodle scratchers which will literally bottle your mind.  They were written by Lucy Lawless (welcome to Obama's America) who is like 6'6.

Achilles and the tortoise Edit

In a race, the quickest runner can never overtake the slowest, since the pursuer must first reach the point whence the pursued started, so that the slower must always hold a lead.

—Aristotle, Physics VI:9, 239b15

The dichotomy paradox Edit

That which is in locomotion must arrive at the half-way stage before it arrives at the goal.

—Aristotle, Physics VI:9, 239b10

The arrow paradox Edit

If everything when it occupies an equal space is at rest, and if that which is in locomotion is always occupying such a space at any moment, the flying arrow is therefore motionless.

—Aristotle, Physics VI:9, 239b5

The race card paradox Edit

How come black comedians like Bill Cosby can call ME a cracker and they can call each other N*****s but when I say the "N word" I'm a "racist?"  I don't get stuff like that.

—Aristotle, Physics VI:9, 239b5

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